I get it—once you realize that healing your nervous system can solve your anxiety, stress, chronic health issues, and hormone imbalances, it’s hard not to wish for an overnight miracle. I’ve been exactly where you are. I made so many missteps along the way, and I want to share them with you so you can avoid the same mistakes and move forward with more ease.

Here’s what I learned the hard way:

1. Obsessing over stress:

When I realized how much stress was behind my health problems, I became hyper-aware of everything that was adding to it. Naturally, I wanted to avoid it all, but that only caused more stress. The obsession with “fixing” everything—believe me, I’ve been there—can backfire. The more we stress about healing, the more we actually create the stress that’s blocking us from getting there.

2. Forcing myself to feel and regulate:

I thought I could push my way to regulation and force myself to feel emotions before I was ready, but that only made things worse. Real healing happens when we let emotions surface naturally and allow our bodies to regulate at their own pace. It’s about patience and gentleness, not trying to control or rush the process.

3. Trying way too hard with “Type-A” intensity:

At one point, I was so caught up in *how* to heal that I lost sight of *being*. I wondered, “If I’m not trying, how will I heal?” But that mindset kept my body stuck in stress mode. The truth is, your body responds to your internal state, not your checklist. If your energy is frantic or fearful, even your best healing efforts won’t land. The game-changer? Shifting my focus from doing to *being*. The way you feel matters as much, if not more, than what you’re actually doing. Healing needed a softer, more compassionate approach—one that nurtured rather than pushed.

4. Ignoring my body’s signals:

One of my biggest mistakes was ignoring the subtle signs my body was giving me. I kept pushing through discomfort, thinking it was just part of the process. But when I finally started listening to those whispers—whether it was fatigue, tension, or just feeling off—that’s when I started making real progress. Your body *knows* what it needs; we just have to learn how to listen and honor that.

5. Putting myself on a deadline:

I used to rush the process, convinced that I should be seeing results faster. That urgency only overwhelmed my system more. The nervous system thrives with slow and steady progress, not pressure.

6. Isolating myself:

I thought I could heal on my own, but our nervous systems actually need connection to thrive. Surrounding myself with people who saw and supported me made a huge difference. Healing alongside others helped me move forward in ways I couldn’t on my own.

7. Focusing on doing rather than being:

I was so caught up in *what* I was doing to heal—ticking off boxes—that I missed the bigger picture. It’s not about the activities themselves; it’s about your state of being while you do them. Inner peace and balance matter far more than your to-do list.

8. Letting fear drive my healing:

I spent a lot of time worrying about whether or not I was healing “right.” But fear-based motivation only stressed me out more. The shift came when I let go of the outcome and focused on compassion for myself—healing can’t happen if we’re constantly adding pressure.

Oh, how I wish I’d known these lessons earlier! 😊

Healing your nervous system isn’t about endlessly *doing*—it’s about stepping into a new way of *being*. When we shift our focus from trying to fix ourselves to simply allowing ourselves to be, healing happens naturally. What’s surprising is that even though it might’ve taken years to become dysregulated, once I stopped making these mistakes, healing started happening faster than I expected. The key? Helping my body feel safe again.