Stop being so F*king Positive and start being less Negative….
Happy New Calendar Year!
It is good to be back writing because it looks like the universe wants me to do more of it this year…
This is my ONE INTENTION that I pulled for 2024
🥴 🫣 🫠
Anyway, I’m back with more ways to help you go
from Mindlessness to Mindfulness 👇👇
The research is out and it is clear…. It is way more useful, helpful, beneficial and effective to be LESS negative than it is to be MORE positive!
And you might be thinking.
We’ll Katie, I’m not a negative person.
That’s fair but the research on this is also very clear.
Negativity is like Velcro and positivity is like Teflon.
Unfortunately, 80% of our thoughts and a whole heap of our words tend to be negative.
Now you might be wondering, that’s interesting Katie, but how do I stop?
First off, we have to accept that we will never be able to FULLY stop negativity.
Negative thoughts will always appear to protect us (it’s part of our negativity bias) and there will always be negative people (it’s part of reality).
But we can choose how we interact with the negativity around us.
By choosing NOT to participate in what I call:
The 6 C’s to Negativity
Complaining
Criticizing
Comparing
Concern (Constant)
Commiserating
Catastrophizing
👆 👆 These are making you a negative person.
Not just by participating but also by associating with people, information and environments that perpetuate the Six C’s to negativity (social media, the news etc.)
If you find yourself around the Six C’s to negativity, remember;
You are the CEO of your life, hire, fire and promote accordingly.
Now you might be wondering but Katie, according to GoogIe, I have at least 45,000 negative thoughts a day, I’ll never be able to tackle that.
And you’re right, that’s A LOT…..don’t start with your thoughts.
Start with your words!
Words are spells.
(and you only have a couple thousand a day)
Simply stop participating in the Six C’s to negativity through words.
At first, this can be challenging because we live 95% of our day on autopilot and if you are currently surrounded by a lot of negativity, it can be challenging but not impossible.
Slow and steady wins the race, you don’t have to do it all at once and you don’t have to do this alone.
Get your partner, friends and kids into it! Let it be fun!
Here are some tips to catch yourself so you can be LESS negative.
Rubber Band – Wear a rubber band or a stretchy bracelet and every time you catch yourself participating in the Six C’s to negativity - Take a piece of the bracelet and snap it so that you feel the pinch and interrupt the pattern. This helps you do two things: 1. Bring more awareness to catching yourself. 2. Start to associate that behavior as bad or not something you want to repeat.
Another thing you can do with the bracelet is when you catch yourself participating in the Six C’s of negativity – switch the bracelet to the other wrist. Then make a goal to keep the bracelet on one hand for 21 days straight. This REALLY boosts your mindfulness to not only 1. Catch yourself but 2. Remember what wrist it was on and for how long and 3. NOT participate in the Six C’s of negativity for 21 days straight. Talk about rewiring your brain and setting yourself up for success.
I got this trick from an awesome book: A Complaint-Free World by Will Bowen. His research shows the average person takes about six months to go 21 days without complaining. Good luck!
Accountability partner – Find a person or people who you can be accountable with. It’s great if someone wants to join you but if you are doing it solo, tell the people you are around that you want to stop participating in the Six C’s of negativity and if they hear you, for them to say something.
If you are doing this as a household, just like you would have a swear jar, have a Six C’s to negativity jar. Anytime anyone in the household participates in the Six C’s of negativity they have to put a coin or a piece of paper with their name on it in a jar. Make it a game!
Brain dump – Get in the habit of writing as much as you can … even if it doesn’t make sense, just write stuff down. Always a good indication of what’s going on.
Mindfulness – Noticing what you notice. Being more conscious gets you out of autopilot and into the present.
Open-awareness Meditation – Set 5 minutes on a timer, close your eyes and just watch your thoughts come and go. Don’t focus on the breath or anything in particular, just allow your mind to go wherever it wants to go. Pay attention. What do you notice? What dominant thoughts pop up?
Dreams – Pay attention to the kind of dreams you are having. Dreams are connected to our subconscious and negativity is linked to scary/ fearful dreams.
Instead of feeling like you need to do MORE this year….do LESS.
Just be LESS negative.
I have a feeling you’ll not only feel better but the people around you will appreciate it as well.